I made this doll in 2009/2010, but I never felt comfortable with her. For me it's less and less interesting to sculpt a "beautiful" doll and I find I'm searching for something else completely. When I hear a definition of what is beautiful I find I have to rebel against it somehow - it just provokes me.
I'm very into dissymmetry at the moment, that's something that inspires me a lot since a few years back. My prototype doll Parasite has some very dissymmetrical features, but I haven't really shown that yet - I've only shown photos of her from an angle where you can't really tell.
Also not that into dolls right now - don't like looking at doll photos or dollhouses or anything doll-y. I guess it could be a blowback from working so much on dolls the past few years! At first it felt strange, but it just keeps going in that direction and I guess I have to follow. It's a fun and interesting feeling!
So I guess I'm really experimenting more, trying to make myself interested in dollmaking/sculpting again! Not inspired by cute, thin, glamorous, luxurious or beautiful at all right now. I don't think I ever was, but it's becoming more and more urgent for me - to make something that I think is fun, and not so saccharine.
I love working with porcelain, so I'm not ready to give that up. I love sculpting, and I will never ever give that up. I'm really inspired by some things at the moment, so I will see where that takes me! I'm really looking forward to getting started on some new projects.
Playing around with paper. Thinking of all this dollmaking - is it really for me? I guess this happens once a year or so for me - I start thinking of giving it all up. Maybe I need a break from it?
I don't think I will ever be able to make a living from making dolls, and right now it's almost not possible for me to be able to afford making dolls anymore. The kiln bills, the cost of studio rent.
I imagine having time to do whatever I want when I have time off from work again. What would it feel like? Would I go nuts? Or have the time to do something about all of the ideas and plans I've been putting off for the sake of making dolls in my sparetime for such a long time.